by Jordan C. Humphrey

An intercepted letter from the 1% to the Mainstream media.

To The Mainstream Media,

Our valued servants, it has come to our attention that a movement to depose our rightful rule of this Earth, called “the 99%”, has become quite popular among our previously obedient subjects. Over a thousand cities have witnessed these inconvenient and disruptive “Occupations”, and the infection has even begun to spread to our agents within the world governments. Our wealth and substantial resources have previously allowed us protection from the wrath of intolerable rabble, and it was with great pride that we led them towards a greater, more profitable future. It is shocking, and abhorrent, that this so-called social revolution has sprung from our own Fortress of Prosperity, Wall Street. These pathetic vagrants dare to camp outside our mighty cathedrals and monuments, demanding a share of the wealth and luxury that we have worked tirelessly to sequester. Worse yet, they have managed to convince many of our servants, both in the paid servants of the political Left, and in the propaganda-distributing apparatus, “The Internet”, to betray us. This cannot, and will not, be tolerated.

We, the Corporate Masters of the World, request that you disregard our previous prerogative. We repeat, IGNORE OUR PREVIOUS ORDERS TO IGNORE THE OCCUPIERS.  Ignoring this populist threat has proved insufficient in maintaining our grip on the Status Quo. They have created their own forms of Media, which run counter to everything we glorify and applaud in the Mainstream. This media, using the Traitor Companies of Facebook and Twitter, has spread like wildfire, and even now defies all attempts at manipulation. Our greatest agents, members of the underclass that we specifically groomed and indoctrinated for the purposes of subjugation by distraction, and whom we carefully placed within the confines of their trivial “Blogs” and “Forums”, have been discovered time and time again, and labelled as “Trolls” of the Hopeful Elite. Therefore, we implore you, our eternally faithful servants, to promote our purpose, and fulfil your duty to the Corporations which employ you. You must act swiftly, if we are to maintain our hold on this Earth. Your new orders are as follows:

Label those amassed against us as anything but justified. You must be merciless, and brutal, and unbearably thorough. The path to your success will rely on your ability to consistently BE INCONSISTENT. Identify these ‘protesters’ as Anarchists, and Hippies, and Vandals, and Criminals. Portray them as anti-capitalist, anti-American, and ignore any suggestions to the contrary. Do not hesitate to label the movement as one proposed by our servants in the American White House, while also suggesting they are ‘anti-Democracy’. With the upcoming elections next year, their usefulness will be coming to an end, to be replaced by other, more willing pawns. By promoting contradicting statements, you can better indoctrinate more portions of the populace against them. Portray them as merely homeless sociopaths, while also claiming they are bored, wealthy individuals. Claim they are remnants from that deplorable insurrection, the Civil Rights Movement, which we previously failed to undermine, while also claiming they are indignant members of the world’s youth, and not to be taken seriously. Claim that they serve Socialism, a trivial scapegoat that has served us well in our eastern kingdoms, but which incites hatred and anger in the people of the West. This will enable you to alienate our servants from the insurrection, while allowing us to further reconstruct the truth.

Glorify our experimental takeover of the so called “Tea Party”, which we successfully reconditioned away from insurrection and towards strict obedience. Compare the two movements, and portray the Tea Party as the true purveyors of ‘progress’. We have proved that, through co-option, even those members of the slave class that harbor resentment of “Bank Bailouts” and “Big Government” can be sufficiently realigned so as to serve our purposes. Although it may seem ridiculous, suggest that we, the Corporations of the World, already have complete control of their actions. That way, those blasphemous few that betray us, and support this “Occupation” will present clear, albeit false, proof of their hypocrisy.  If, Profits forbid, a rogue element of the 99% commits a crime, IDENTIFY THOSE FEW RESPONSIBLE AS THE NORM. We are hard at work inserting agents within their encampments, who will willingly commit acts of vandalism and anti-Semitism, which are proven to discourage public support. We have instructed our subjects within the Law Enforcement community to subjugate them at any cost, and to portray any resistance to this discrimination as unlawful. However, the 99% will attempt to remain peaceful, which you must portray as unsuccessful.

As we have learned many times in the past, merely portraying the failure of a movement is enough to cause it to decline. Suggest that the weather, and sanitation, and lack of motivation, will cause great strain on the movement. Label any assistance by the evil Unions as proof of our “manipulation”, since there are members of the political Right who frequently associate the profit-destroying Unions with our own agendas. Make frequently the claim that the movement was funded by George Soros, a trivial individual who seeks similar glory to our own. You must do everything possible, everything plausible, to undermine the genuine message of the 99% movement. You must convince the people of this Earth that their class warfare is unacceptable, and that our class warfare is merely a sign of society’s desire for economic freedom. The more free society believes itself to be, the easier it will be to enslave it.

Above all, DO NOT DO YOUR JOB AS A MEMBER OF THE MEDIA. Do not go into their masses and report the truth. Do not interview outstanding members of their encampments, or, if you are forced to do so, only interview those who have been planted by our agents to fragment and distract the populace. If or when they achieve any remarkable success, criticize it as trivial. Give no credit where any credit is due, and do not represent any viewpoint other than those that undermine their ability to make changes to the established world order. Whether you are a talk-radio host or a member of the associated press, your job is to serve our interests. We need not remind you that, in these trying times for you, our subjects, we can easily and effectively terminate your positions of usefulness within the Status Quo. Through you, we control the masses, but YOU ARE STILL OUR SERVANTS. If, and only if, we succeed in crushing this revolution of ideas, we will allow you to enter our Divine ranks. Remain obedient, remain loyal, and you will be rewarded when we have regained control over this Earth.

We, the 1%, have spoken.

GO FORTH, AND DESTROY THE 99%. DESTROY THE OCCUPATION. PROTECT YOUR MASTERS.

For The Greater Profit,

The Corporate Masters of the World